In view of the approaching exams,

Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

I took this from a friend's Facebook note. It's the best yet!

--

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in
Swindon, Wiltshire (U.K.)

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the
fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well
endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple,
but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The
abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (What the
*!!*???)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a
fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand
its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.


Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Recently I've been having sleepless nights again, and I really hate it because it consumes so much of me. And it's really, really not because of stress. I mean, seriously. I was definitely under more pressure during Prelims than now. What's all this anxiety?

Phineas and Ferb should feature some Dr Sleepbetter because I think I need Dr Sleepbetter more than Dr Feelbetter and Dr. Doofenshmirtz (I had to google his name, aiyo what weird spelling!)

And haha I've been watching the re-run of AMI lately. (: Kris hasn't appeared yet hehe I'm like waiting for him to make his AMI debut :D

And haha, I really like Sylvia in Singapore Idol! Girls ftw (hahahaha since there's no Kris Allen material among the boys!)

And I gladly proclaim Discovery Home and Health as my favourite-st TV channel (: The kids in J&K+8 yesterday were so adorable! "Your talent is...screaming" "Your talent is... being a noodle" "I want to be a noodle too" and other silly conversations. I definitely am not in any position to comment on all the bad stuff happening in their family right now (if there is even any family right now). To me, J&K+8 is only about the lovely little scream-ish whine-ish pee-ish children (:

--
Edit. LOOK AT THE KIDS They really are so adorable that I can't choose a favourite! There are more children in there than children in my grandparents' house! Haha!

OKAY HELLO WORLD. GRATITUDE TO THE MAX TO

1. Dr Feelbetter and Dr Dufelsmirth however you spell it. Phineas and Ferb's nemesis :D
2. GOD :D

I have a feeling the years to come (or the months to come) will be quite disappointing. But I don't know, I guess it's all a matter of perspective. Of course, there's a grander plan that I'm unsure of. So, yeah :D

But hehee, please let our KOR/TW trip become reality! Then it will really be a dream come true for me (: Imagine all that girl talk and shopping and camwhoring and makan-ing :D Please, we must make sure it happens.

The world is too big for me to love, and loving is very, very burdensome. Shall I stop loving, then? Tall order ): How much will I give up, anyway? I hate that reality is so ugly and I hate that there's little for me to do about it. Or is there? Somehow I wished I never had a heart, but no, I take that back.

Perhaps the greatest pain that Jesus felt on the cross wasn't the pain he was inflicted with, but the pain that came from the grief of just watching humanity decline.

Perhaps it hurts him that I'm not a very good girl either.

Happy Halloween (:

Haha I kind of forgot that it was Halloween until I started watching Disney, which lined up like a thousand scary shows. Love Phineas and Ferb and their haunted house (:

Anyway, I kind of didn't do anything today ): I don't know why I'm so unmotivated and so lethargic! Like, I couldn't even be bothered to play with Shealyn because I was so tired.. I have a feeling I'm going to be some bad mother who cannot devote much attention to her children in future. I really think so! Like, Shealyn came over because she was fighting with Geri, and I was too lazy to entertain her ):

URGH.

And anyway, I watched Discovery Home and Health today, and this wise lady said that over-eating could be a manifestation of something else, not hunger!

WAAAAAAAHH. Not a good day today, whines whines.

Laughing at First Class calefares at Sg idol now. RAR where's my Tyler ):

I KNOW WHY I AM SO !#(*(%@)*(% LAH. There's no more Gaeul and Yijung to look forward to on Sat nights ):

I hate that I'm such an ignorant consumer. WASTE MY MONEY!! GRR. I think I need to invest much much more money into buying quality stuff for my poor hurting feet ):

But whatever, I invested in cheapskate 60gsm(/gm?) foolscap paper and it has served me well (: